So, I met up with an old friend of mine and we chatted. Well, you’ve guessed it – relationships. At least this is like that hottest topic to bring up when you’re in your 20’s and everyone around us is either happily in a relationship, engaged or husband and wife.
As I was saying, R E L A T I O N S H I P S~
While some of you are lucky to find the love of your life with the one and only person you’ve ever dated, others would probably have experience the heart-wrenching moment of either being the dumper or dumpee. (Hey, dumpers can be going through a rough time too believe it or not).
Here’s the thing. I’ve experienced both. Not that I’m proud or anything but I can at least know how it feels on both sides of the end and what I would want to say is regardless of what had happened, never lose faith because when love comes, it comes. Be it knocking on your front door or a few clicks away from the keyboard but when it comes, just give yourself a chance.
The reason why I’m saying this is because I know that negativity in love is so powerful that some people take years to overcome as it is difficult to forget how someone makes them feel. Hence, when breakup happens, memories of traits would make you resent a certain characteristic in a person. You might not particular dislike that person initially but because the person behave in a certain way that he/she reminds you of someone unpleasant, it automatically signals the brain telling you that this person is a ‘No, No’ and that you should stay away.
My point of view is ‘yes’, breakup happens and it sucks! I might not have gone through like some of the worst cases in the world but one can never know. *smirks*
So, here are my thought on men when I was the dumper and dumpee.
Dumper
Obviously being the dumper, I would feel less of the hurt compared to the dumpee because I would have given myself enough time to think and prepare for the worst. I was being perceived as the icy cold bitch the broke the ex’s heart.
To those who do not know what happened probably would think that I’ve moved on and I’m the kind that would drop someone like a bomb but the truth is, I’m a very loyal person. We were together for 3 years. So, it wasn’t easy for me to just let go. It was difficult but I know in heart, this relationship isn’t going nowhere. I wanted to grow while he, he wanted to remain.
In my mind, I told myself I would never want someone that wouldn’t allow me to grow and to grow with me. To not have someone that talk the talk but never walk the walk with me. These may vary depending on your situation. For eg. one might not want someone that smokes or drinks and etc.
Dumpee
Now being the dumpee, THIS SUCKS!! I am now taken aback with the news of being dumped and I felt as if my whole world is crumbling down. He made me felt lower than dirt, unworthy and I even thought that I could never love again (WRONG! So WRONG! and I’ll let you know later on). That made me felt like men are a bunch of jerks that can never keep promises. It effected me in a way where by I wasn’t able to take them seriously anymore because to me they’re all untrustworthy.
In my mind, I swore to never go for a guy that would promise to bring me the moon and the stars. A guy who loves himself more; putting himself over me because I know I deserve better than that. He destroyed my beliefs in good men at that time and convinced me that ALL MEN will be the same – Jerks.
But, …
There’s a but..
It worked for me.
Past relationships made me opened my eyes to pick and choose wisely. Of course I was afraid of opening up to new strangers initially and personally, I didn’t want to because of the fear and also partly because I wasn’t ready.
But, it all worked out in the end and I couldn’t be much happier.
What I’m trying to conclude is, yea, you met one or two jerks/bitches along the way but, don’t go labeling ALL MEN/WOMEN the same because they’re not. Some are pretty decent and he/she might just be your future partner.
Cheers!! XOXO~
Impromptu 
Congrats ^^
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Thank you @Wanda ❤
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