I regret, thinking ‘What if’

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As much as I hate to admit, sometimes, I do regret. Although I would really much like to say that I don’t; that I am living my life to the fullest, I actually do.

 

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I regret not taking the chance to travel, when I was given the chance. 

When I was Europe, I was told that travelling internally is super cheap especially when I hold a part time job there. I was actually able to afford travelling myself but, I choose not too because I thought going back to UK is just a flight away.

Yes, it is just a flight away but now that I’m working, I don’t really have the time and the money to do so.

If I have taken the chance, I could have seen more, learn more, experience more. Instead now, I could only wonder how it feels like if I were to just have fun, enjoy myself and travel.

 

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I regret chickening out in meeting up with a new friend, when I was given a chance.

How often do you actually get a compliment when you’re walk down the street? Like literally a guy walking just right next to you, using the lamest pick up line just to get your number. Chances are, almost to NIL but I did. Just like in the movies, a guy came up to me and asked for my number.

It was like the craaaaziest thing that ever happened to me and I thought he was the sweetest thing ever! He gave me a hug and a kiss as we parted after exchanging our numbers.

As to how cute he was, he’s a caucasian with hazel brown eyes, dark blonde hair, well-built and about 168-170cm ish?

 

I hear you..

Why didn’t I meet up with him? Well, the incident kinda felt like a little too good to be true and somehow the idea of me being kidnapped and sold off for sex or organ trade was tingling in my head. So, I rejected his offer when he asked me out the following week. Honestly, was I wrong to think about people that way when you hear all these news happening around us everyday??

If I have taken the chance to just know him a little better, we could be like good friends across the globe now or probably I might be sold off. Well, this is definitely something that I will never know.

 

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I regret not going for interviews overseas, when I was given a chance with full support.

I regret immensely on giving up 3 opportunities to excel in my career overseas out of fear and comfort when asked for an interview in UK and Singapore.

I was terrified with the idea of travelling all the way back to UK for 2 interviews which I am unsure if I’ll succeed. I was afraid of disappointment. I was afraid of being out of my comfort zone. Just a day before my flight, I broke down and told my dad that I change my mind. That I no longer want to fly to UK after all the packing and weighing the luggage. That I no longer want to take the opportunity to see where it goes from there.

I can see the dissapointment in his eyes but he respects my decision. Dinner was silence that night as I missed my flight to UK the next day.

3 months after that, I receive an email regarding an interview in Singapore. I rejected the interview as well after discussing with my parents. My reason was, I don’t see myself being happy and then I question myself. Is my happiness really that important?

If I have taken the chance to go for the interviews, I could have come back and say ‘Hey, at least I’ve tried’ but, I’ll never know. I could have just try but I choose not to and now, I can only wonder.

 

 

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Honestly, there are lot of things which I feel that I could have done differently but if I did, I wonder how my life would be now. I had nothing to lose back then as I was unattached and have no commitments. I could have just gone with the wind and who knows where I’ll land.

But, even with regrets for all the things that I keep wondering now, there are 3 things that I do not regret. I do not regret choosing my family and my happiness above all and I do not regret going to China House with a tupperware filled with jellies.